Shoulda Woulda Coulda

How many times in a day or week do you find yourself saying, “I really should have…” or “I wish I could have…” or “If only I would have…”? Many of us say these lines without a second thought.
But, what value do they hold for us? When are these statements most helpful? Most of the time they feed our sense of guilt, shame, blame or regret. Rarely are they productive, unless used as a sincere reflection that’s genuinely positive or profitable for the future.
Lately I’ve found myself saying my own shoulda, woulda, couldas…surrounding my recent water skiing accident and eight weeks of therapy that haven’t brought about the healing I had anticipated. On top of that, we recently discovered through another set of x-rays and doctor visits that I was misdiagnosed originally…instead of torn muscles alone, we now know that I have two fractures that need the attention of an orthopedic specialist and a new regiment of therapy.
I’m left with a spiritual, emotional and physical dilemma… continually look back with regret, shame, blame and guilt? Or, look forward with lessons learned and a newly transformed prognosis for healing?
Shame, blame, guilt and regret are not good for the soul…I’m going to choose patience, joy, and a faith-filled anticipation of brighter days ahead.
What will you do with your “shoulda, woulda, couldas” this coming week?


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Steve Macchia

Founder & President

Steve is a graduate of Northwestern College (IA) and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (M.Div. and D.Min.). His prior ministry includes serving on the pastoral staff at Grace Chapel (Lexington, MA) and as president of Vision New England. Since July 1, 2003 Steve has served as founder and president of Leadership Transformations, director of the Pierce Center for Disciple-Building, and adjunct faculty in the Doctor of Ministry department at Gordon-Conwell. He is the author of sixteen books, including The Discerning Life (Zondervan Reflective),  Baker bestseller Becoming a Healthy Church, and Crafting a Rule of Life (IVP). He lives in the Boston area with his wife Ruth and is the proud father of two grown children, Rebekah and Nathan, daughter in-love Ashley, and papa to his beloved granddaughter, Brenna Lynn and twin grandsons, Aiden Joseph and Carson Stephen. “My soul comes alive singing the great hymns of the church and enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. I’m in awe of God for fulfilling the dream for LTI that he birthed in my heart, for the team he has assembled, and the transformational impact experienced in the leaders and teams we serve.

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