The Forgotten Question

What shall we do next? Where shall we go? When shall we meet? Who shall we invite? How shall we get there?


What, where, when, who, and how are by far the easiest questions to answer in life. We request and respond to each of them multiple times each day. 


The question we oft-forget is “Why?” – and it’s the question that matters most, is hardest to answer, and easiest to ignore, neglect, or resist.


When a two year old persistently asks us “Why?” with endless vigor, we immediately (or eventually) become impatient. “Because I said so” can become our most frequent reply. A shallow response from an adult who knows better, but grows tired of the constant barrage of the same question. The one that matters most.


Consider as well that underneath every “Why?” are at least five deeper “Why”’s that we rarely plummet. So if we’re impatient with one “Why?” how do we handle multiple appeals for an even deeper response. Try it out…ask a “Why”  question and then ask “Why?” multiple times thereafter and see where it takes you. Hopefully to a deeper, richer place.


On a recent Sabbath walk in my neighborhood, I picked up ten beautiful leaves that had fallen to the ground. They were shades of green, red, brown, yellow, and orange. A swath of gorgeous autumn in my hands. At first, as I picked them up it was easy to answer “Why?” Because my eyes were drawn to their glow in the sunshine. I praised God for his glorious creation.


As I walked, I thought further about what I could do with the leaves. Who would appreciate them most? What were they symbolizing to me at that very moment? Where could I place them? How about photographing them and posting on social media?


And then I was arrested by the thought. Why not simply enjoy their beauty, rather than post the photo on social media? To make sure my ‘friends’ were edified by what encouraged me? To point out my holy pursuit of a Sabbath walk and noticing God’s creation? To see how many ‘likes’ it will attain? To make it all about me?


I decided – thankfully and only by the grace of God – not to present the photo publically at all. To do so was filled with too many mixed motives, mostly surrounding my own insecurities. The deeper “Why’s” were calling forth a deeper response. One that would keep a sacred moment holy and not spoil it with self-prescribed grandiosity.


Now, I can hear your cynicism already…then “‘Why?” share this story at all? Good question!! Solely as an honest wrestling with a real life question, particularly about why we post anything whatsoever on social media (either rarely or multiple times each day).


The most-forgotten question for us today is “Why?” It affects every aspect of our lives: spiritually, relationally, physically, emotionally, vocationally, and financially. Pausing before speaking or doing or responding and prayerfully considering the “Why?” is always really good for your soul. 


Let’s ask “Why?” frequently, embrace it wholeheartedly, and prayerfully consider why before asking what, where, when, who and how. Observe with gratitude what happens as a result of plummeting the depth of “Why” (or why x 5) inside your heart, soul, mind, and life. 


Why? Because I said so :))! Haha…just kidding…it’s because your soul will find its deepest rest in God alone, not in pursuit of any other alternative self-focused affections which are considered more frequently to us, and are all too often absent of the most important question: “Why?”


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Steve Macchia

Founder & President

The Rev. Dr. Stephen A. Macchia is founder and president of Leadership Transformations, Inc. (LTI), a ministry serving the spiritual formation, discernment, and renewal of leaders and learners since 2003. For more than 20 years he was the Director of the Pierce Center for Disciple-Building at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he continues to serve as an adjunct faculty member in the Doctor of Ministry Program. From 1989-2003 he was the president of Vision New England, the largest regional church renewal association in the country. Earlier in his ministry life, Steve was a member of the pastoral staff of Grace Chapel in Lexington, Massachusetts for 11 years. He is the author or co-author of 17 books,  including Praying the Parables of Jesus (NavPress/Tyndale), The Discerning Life (Zondervan Reflective), and Crafting a Rule of Life, Becoming A Healthy Church (LTI), and Broken and Whole (IVP).  He and his wife Ruth live in the Boston (MA) area and are the proud parents of two married children and grandparents to three adorable grandchildren. Steve’s personal website is www.SteveMacchia.com.

My soul comes alive singing the great hymns of the church and enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. I’m in awe of God for fulfilling the dream for LTI that he birthed in my heart, for the team he has assembled, and the transformational impact experienced in the leaders and teams we serve.

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Mitzi Mak

Selah-West Faculty & Emmaus Faculty

Mitzi started her professional life as a high school social studies teacher. She and her husband Jerry then served cross-culturally for ten+ years, living abroad first in India and then Kurdistan, N. Iraq. In addition to being a Spiritual Director, she now serves as a Formation and Care pastor in her local church in Houston, TX. She has graduated from LTI’s Selah Spiritual Direction training as well as LTI’s Emmaus Formational Leadership Program.

Mitzi enjoys engaging conversation, reading fiction, doing jigsaw/crossword puzzles, ocean gazing and exploring the world with Jerry through food and travel.

God has two main callings in Mitzi’s life: to care for those who care for others and to be a guide in helping others have a healthy relationship with the Trinity – recognizing God’s loving presence and activity in their lives and how to faithfully respond.

Selah was a transformative experience for me – allowing the contemplative within to emerge and to beautifully co-exist with my extraverted personality.