The Only Legitimate Selfishness


The Only Legitimate Selfishness

The only place in life where it’s legitimate to be selfish is in the care and nurture of your soul. Without which, you will never fully learn what it means to be selfless in the care of another.”

This was the summary voiced by my wise spiritual director many years ago, when we were discussing the importance of a daily walk with God amidst a full, active, and noisy ministry life.

Saying no to internal and external demands is hard to do. We generally like to be needed, helpful, active, and productive. We need to learn how to say no to every other tap on our shoulder beckoning for our attention, in order to focus exclusively on being in the presence of God alone.

When we say no to all other voices, in order to say yes to the voice of God, we develop a spacious attentiveness that sweetens, deepens, and ripens over time. Once this kind of focused intentionality is gained, the expression of love from God is rich and abundant. The fruit of such intimacy is a delight to behold.

Today, can you legitimize some selfishness of soul in order to listen attentively to the still, small voice of God? Sit with God in His Word, listen intently for his voice in your prayers, and reflect humbly on your brokenness and on how he desires to heal and redeem it all for his glory.

Resting in his enveloping love will ensure your preparation to selflessly love another in Jesus’ name. Watch how it happens and rejoice!


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Steve Macchia

Founder & President

The Rev. Dr. Stephen A. Macchia is founder and president of Leadership Transformations, Inc. (LTI), a ministry serving the spiritual formation, discernment, and renewal of leaders and learners since 2003. For more than 20 years he has been the Director of the Pierce Center for Disciple-Building at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he also serves as an adjunct faculty member in the Doctor of Ministry Program. From 1989-2003 he was the president of Vision New England, the largest regional church renewal association in the country. Earlier in his ministry life, Steve was a member of the pastoral staff of Grace Chapel in Lexington, Massachusetts for 11 years. He is the author or co-author of 17 books, including The Discerning Life (Zondervan Reflective), and Crafting a Rule of Life, Becoming A Healthy Church (LTI), and Broken and Whole (IVP).  He and his wife Ruth live in the Boston (MA) area and are the proud parents of two married children and grandparents to three adorable grandchildren. Steve’s personal website is

My soul comes alive singing the great hymns of the church and enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. I’m in awe of God for fulfilling the dream for LTI that he birthed in my heart, for the team he has assembled, and the transformational impact experienced in the leaders and teams we serve.

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Mitzi Mak

Selah-West Faculty

Mitzi started her professional life as a high school social studies teacher. She and her husband Jerry then served cross-culturally for ten+ years, living abroad first in India and then Kurdistan, N. Iraq. In addition to being a Spiritual Director, she now serves as a Formation and Care pastor in her local church in Houston, TX. She has graduated from LTI’s Selah Spiritual Direction training as well as LTI’s Emmaus Formational Leadership Program.

Mitzi enjoys engaging conversation, reading fiction, doing jigsaw/crossword puzzles, ocean gazing and exploring the world with Jerry through food and travel.

God has two main callings in Mitzi’s life: to care for those who care for others and to be a guide in helping others have a healthy relationship with the Trinity – recognizing God’s loving presence and activity in their lives and how to faithfully respond.

Selah was a transformative experience for me – allowing the contemplative within to emerge and to beautifully co-exist with my extraverted personality.