A Wise Friend

My spiritual director equates a personal rule of life to a “wise friend” – similar to the relationship we have with someone who has wisdom, strength, courage, conviction, tenderness, compassion, and love. Likened to a person with whom we entrust our lives, having productive conversations, whether easy or challenging, so too will a rule of life always bring about abundance from within.

A wise friend…are you that to another? Do you have such a friend yourself? When I consider my own life, I feel very fortunate to look back and around me, able to list several wise friends who were there for me when I needed them the most. Rich, who wisely led me into salvation. Warren, who wisely welcomed me into ministry. David, who wisely instructed me to pray. Bob, who wisely challenged me in my leadership. Caleb, who wisely came alongside me during a difficult decision. Paul, who wisely chastised me when I chose cynicism rather than forgiveness. Brad, who wisely counseled me to be a more sensitive husband and loving father.

I am forever grateful for my wise friends. They have been like rudders under my ship, steering me away from treacherous shoals, guiding me during turbulent seasons, and sustaining me during calm waters. Their wisdom has been my strength. Their wisdom has been to my benefit. Their wisdom has been pure gift to my soul.

So now I hope I’m able to offer the wisdom of years and experience to those who cross my path. I want to be a wise friend rather than a foolish one. A fool leads others astray, encourages the false self, and looks the other way when another is about to fall. A fool has no grounding, no backbone, and no firm foundation. A fool is unwilling to speak truth in love, doesn’t know the power of forgiveness and grace. A fool is not a friend at all.

We need wise friends. We are called to be wise friends. Our rule of life is like a wise friend, and sustains us in our desire to be a wise friend to another. Keep the conversation alive both with God, your Fount of Wisdom, and with others who come alongside you as your friends. Join the journey with others at www.ruleoflife.com and watch how mentors and wise friends are encouraging the abundant life.

“He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm” Proverbs 13:20.


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Steve Macchia

Founder & President

Steve is a graduate of Northwestern College (IA) and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (M.Div. and D.Min.). His prior ministry includes serving on the pastoral staff at Grace Chapel (Lexington, MA) and as president of Vision New England. Since July 1, 2003 Steve has served as founder and president of Leadership Transformations, director of the Pierce Center for Disciple-Building, and adjunct faculty in the Doctor of Ministry department at Gordon-Conwell. He is the author of sixteen books, including The Discerning Life (Zondervan Reflective),  Baker bestseller Becoming a Healthy Church, and Crafting a Rule of Life (IVP). He lives in the Boston area with his wife Ruth and is the proud father of two grown children, Rebekah and Nathan, daughter in-love Ashley, and papa to his beloved granddaughter, Brenna Lynn and twin grandsons, Aiden Joseph and Carson Stephen. “My soul comes alive singing the great hymns of the church and enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. I’m in awe of God for fulfilling the dream for LTI that he birthed in my heart, for the team he has assembled, and the transformational impact experienced in the leaders and teams we serve.

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