When I, Me and My Matter Most

How ironic that today I’m facilitating a leadership development session with a church leadership team on the subject of Conflict Resolution…and the psalm of the week in our prayer guide is Psalm 51: “Have mercy on me…blot out my transgression…wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin…against you, you only, have I sinned…wash me and I will be whiter than snow…let me hear joy and gladness. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
When the words I, me, and my matter most is when I am willing to be broken before God and others I have hurt, disappointed, or am in conflict with. In this psalm it’s King David who finally comes clean of his sin of adultery with Bathsheba and the resulting sins of deception, murder and injustice. It took Nathan the prophet to expose his true heart, but thankfully David responds with a contrite spirit and seeks forgiveness, restoration, and reconciliation with God.
When we are finally willing to own up to our sinfulness, brokenness and desperate need for forgiveness, we can’t help but use the words I, me and my…no more finger pointing allowed.
Want to love God with heart, soul, mind and strength and your neighbor (spouse, child, sibling, parent, friend, colleague) as yourself?
There’s redemptive power in the phrases “I’m sorry” “I was wrong” “Please forgive me” and “I love you.”
Use the proper pronouns and you’ll be well on the way toward meaningful conflict resolution…and ever enriching relationships with God and those you love the most.


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Steve Macchia

Founder & President

Steve is a graduate of Northwestern College (IA) and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (M.Div. and D.Min.). His prior ministry includes serving on the pastoral staff at Grace Chapel (Lexington, MA) and as president of Vision New England. Since July 1, 2003 Steve has served as founder and president of Leadership Transformations, director of the Pierce Center for Disciple-Building, and adjunct faculty in the Doctor of Ministry department at Gordon-Conwell. He is the author of sixteen books, including The Discerning Life (Zondervan Reflective),  Baker bestseller Becoming a Healthy Church, and Crafting a Rule of Life (IVP). He lives in the Boston area with his wife Ruth and is the proud father of two grown children, Rebekah and Nathan, daughter in-love Ashley, and papa to his beloved granddaughter, Brenna Lynn and twin grandsons, Aiden Joseph and Carson Stephen. “My soul comes alive singing the great hymns of the church and enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. I’m in awe of God for fulfilling the dream for LTI that he birthed in my heart, for the team he has assembled, and the transformational impact experienced in the leaders and teams we serve.

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