Christmas Letter No-no’s

What information will you keep out of the annual family Christmas letter?

As I was working over the weekend on writing this year’s family Christmas letter I had a silly thought…

What if this year’s letter were more about the disappointments of the past year rather than the highlights? I don’t think I’ve ever read a Christmas letter like that!

Most of our annual letters include updates like the incredible GPA’s of our children and their ivy league college placement, new job opportunities that show we’re climbing the corporate ladder, athletic prowess that has lead us into Olympic-like shape, exotic vacation locations, new (second) homes, etc. Yes, most of our letters are about strutting our braggage rather than embracing our baggage.

Not that this would be our list (!!), but I thought of a few items that most likely never get included in annual Christmas letters but are pound for pound far more profound than the highlights we dig up from our memory banks to boast to one another. For example, what about our incredible sadness over unresolved conflict with extended family members, or lost jobs due to a down economy and the depression that accompanied the layoff, or the infidelity of a brother or son and the impact that is having on a devastated wife and young children, or the news that indeed the tumor is inoperable and months instead of years are left to live, or learning that the addiction has overtaken a loved one to the point of daily misery. These are just a few options; the pain in our world is far larger, deeper and more significant.

I’m trying to weave into our annual family letter a bit of the realism of our past year, but I must admit, I’m hard pressed to do so. What if the truth about our disappointments are misunderstood and then gets maligned when we get talked about around “that friend or family member’s” holiday table? Is it worth the risk to speak about pain, heartache and disappointment or will I stick instead with the safe, pretty, and brag-worthy stuff?

I’m not done with my final draft. Not sure where it will end up. But challenged all the more about the importance of truth-telling and the freedom that comes when the raw material of our lives is shared authentically and within the safety of loving relationships. My baggage may not be shared with all; but it certainly is known by the few who matter most. And it’s the ones who know me best and love me most that know how to read between the lines even if our annual Christmas letter is only filled with highlights, blessings and joys.

What about you – who knows the truth about your life and the year you’re about to wrap up in just a few weeks?

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Steve Macchia

Founder & President

The Rev. Dr. Stephen A. Macchia is founder and president of Leadership Transformations, Inc. (LTI), a ministry serving the spiritual formation, discernment, and renewal of leaders and learners since 2003. For more than 20 years he has been the Director of the Pierce Center for Disciple-Building at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he also serves as an adjunct faculty member in the Doctor of Ministry Program. From 1989-2003 he was the president of Vision New England, the largest regional church renewal association in the country. Earlier in his ministry life, Steve was a member of the pastoral staff of Grace Chapel in Lexington, Massachusetts for 11 years. He is the author or co-author of 17 books, including The Discerning Life (Zondervan Reflective), and Crafting a Rule of Life, Becoming A Healthy Church (LTI), and Broken and Whole (IVP).  He and his wife Ruth live in the Boston (MA) area and are the proud parents of two married children and grandparents to three adorable grandchildren. Steve’s personal website is www.SteveMacchia.com.

My soul comes alive singing the great hymns of the church and enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. I’m in awe of God for fulfilling the dream for LTI that he birthed in my heart, for the team he has assembled, and the transformational impact experienced in the leaders and teams we serve.

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Mitzi Mak

Selah-West Faculty & Emmaus Faculty

Mitzi started her professional life as a high school social studies teacher. She and her husband Jerry then served cross-culturally for ten+ years, living abroad first in India and then Kurdistan, N. Iraq. In addition to being a Spiritual Director, she now serves as a Formation and Care pastor in her local church in Houston, TX. She has graduated from LTI’s Selah Spiritual Direction training as well as LTI’s Emmaus Formational Leadership Program.

Mitzi enjoys engaging conversation, reading fiction, doing jigsaw/crossword puzzles, ocean gazing and exploring the world with Jerry through food and travel.

God has two main callings in Mitzi’s life: to care for those who care for others and to be a guide in helping others have a healthy relationship with the Trinity – recognizing God’s loving presence and activity in their lives and how to faithfully respond.

Selah was a transformative experience for me – allowing the contemplative within to emerge and to beautifully co-exist with my extraverted personality.